We’re changing the way we review games.

You may have noticed that our reviews are a) not what you’d call timely and b) few and far between.

More often than not, I find that I want to discuss a particular aspect of a game, rather than the game itself. What normally happens is, I decide to save it for the review and then never get around to writing the review itself. Even worse, when I can’t find anything nice to say about a game, I simply don’t write anything. Instead of continuing this bad habit, we’re making a change.

The review category will still be there. Rather than writing full reviews in a single post, we’ll probably split a review up into a series of posts that explore the more interesting characteristics of each game, good or bad. This way, I don’t feel bad for absolutely slating the occasional free game that comes my way and you get more thoughtful content. Each post will be tagged with the game name, so you’ll have no trouble finding all our comments about a single title, should you want to.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Age rating:

3+ (PEGI)

What is it?

A Mario game - 3D-platformer.

Is it fun?

Yes.

Is it worth the money? £29.99

Yes.

Why?

I’ve always been rather indifferent when it comes to Mario games until I played Super Mario 64, which was brilliant. Unfortunately the GameCube’s Mario extravaganza (Super Mario Sunshine) was well, total poo to be honest. However, I’m pleased to say that Super Mario Galaxy tops even the great Mario 64 for sheer enjoyment. I can’t even complain of the total lack of imagination shown by Nintendo when it churns out the same games for each generation of Nintendo console when this incarnation of Mario is just so much fun.

The graphics look great (by Wii standards) and complement the game wonderfully. Sure there are some iffy looking textures and a few jaggies, but I didn’t care as the whole game is amazing. The sound is a perfect mix of chirpyness and classic Mario sounds and themes. It also has a brilliant, brilliant music track for the Battlerock galaxy that I challenge anyone to play this galaxy and not have a giant smile on their face.

I loved the whole playfulness of Mario’s new galaxy environment. Flying, flipping, gliding, jumping and catapulting between all the planets on each of the levels is just awesome. The attention to detail that the designers have lavished on every planet, however small is a joy to behold. I loved the way that seemingly simple puzzles were brought to life by splitting them over lots of mini planets and great use of the Wii controller. This is probably the first game after Wii Sports where the control method just feels right. From rolling around on top a giant ball, to flying through the air as a little bumble bee, the Wiimote and nunchuk make controlling Mario something to be enjoyed.

Bad points. Well, swimming underwater takes a bit of getting used to. The camera has a habit of choosing the worst time to change its viewpoint, which usually happens when you’re negotiating a really nasty sequence of platforms.

It took me just over 14 hours to get to the end of the game and finally beat Bowser, but that still leaves me with another 55 power stars to collect. Then I’ll have finally completed the game. So Lordy knows how long that’s going to take with some fiendish and very dexterous puzzles lying in wait.

In summary:

A wonderful game in every way. Mario is the easily the best game on the Wii.

Screenshots:

Popularity: 13% [?]

Age rating:

3+ (PEGI)

What is it?

Futuristic racing game, with lots of lovely weapons.

Is it fun?

Yes.

Is it worth the money? £22.99

Yep, every penny.

Why?

Like anything in life, practice makes perfect. So given that Wipeout Pulse is the 8th incarnation of the futuristic racing series does the same analogy hold true? I’m pleased to say it does. Everything that was good about Wipeout Pure has been built upon in Pulse with the following additions:

• More tracks - 12 new ones
• More teams - 12 teams in total
• New Mag-strip track surface - Tracks can now have loops and super sharp turns.
• New weapons - Repulsor, shurikens and cannon
• Team loyalty system
• Adjustable AI difficulty
• Custom soundtracks
• Custom ship skin creator - via wipeout-game.com
• New tournament structure
• Photo mode - Take your own pretty pictures, as I did for this review
• On-line racing

Yep, on-line racing is there for the first time. Now I get my butt kicked on-line as well as off line and I can see just how slow my times are via the wipeout-game.com site Yay, I think. It is a welcome, if slightly overdue addition to the series.

The adjustable AI (easy, normal and hard) opens up a lot more of the game to most people. In the previous games, increasing the difficulty by increasing the speed resulted in few people actually completing all the tournaments. Now, at least, the Wipeout tourist setting (aka easy) allows you to experience the whole game. However, it doesn’t prepare you for the harsh reality of on-line racing though. For that set the difficulty to hard. Well, technically you need an evil setting (aka human) to be fully prepared.

It’s not all sugar and spice and all things nice in Pulse. To my mind the balance of time trials to races during tournaments is a bit off. There are simply too many time trials and not enough races. I like races, time trials are just boring. Also enough with the Zone races. I know this was quite a cool addition to Pure but Studio Liverpool had gone a bit OTT with the number of Zone races you have to complete. Tons of them, again with the boring.

It seems Sony have decided to start squeezing every last drop of coin out of Wipeout. How? Well, the previously free downloadable content for Pure now costs money in Pulse. These expansion packs vary in price from £1.99 to £3.49 (4 have been announced - Mirage and Icaras are available now). It’s another case of micro transaction infestation.

Finally, it’s a Wipeout game without any CoLD SToRAGE music. Bad, bad, bad. At least I can now create a customised soundtrack (something also available in Wipeout HD) with lots of my own CoLD SToRAGE tracks, so it’s not all lost in a savage pit of mire.

In summary: The best Wipeout game so far on any system.

Screenshots:

Wipeout Pulse is available now on PSP

Popularity: 12% [?]

Age Rating:

12 (BBFC)

What is it?

A Bioware RPG witha futuristic space-colony setting and third-person-cover combat

It is fun?

Hell, yes.

Is it worth the money?

(£39.99)

Yes, yes, yes. At £1 per hour, it’s very good value for money.

Why?

I love western-style RPGs. I love sci-fi settings. And I love taking cover during combat. I love Mass Effect. This game is almost made for me :)

There are flaws. I talked about Mass Effect’s dialogue issue back in December. The inventory interface is quite possibly the worst I’ve ever seen, as is the party selection menu. Still, I had so much fun playing the game itself that I don’t really care.

The Good:

• Purpose - You have actual goals throughout the game that aren’t simply “shoot everything in sight”. Sure, that’s generally the means to your end, but at least there’s a purpose behind it.
• Combat - The combat system is great. It’s like Gears of War but less frustrating. Gears feels like you’re wearing a huge chunk of magnetic armour and everything else is made of iron. Mass Effect gives you more control when running and it’s far easier to go around things.
• Breadth - You have a giant world to explore. This isn’t a sandbox game but you can spend hours just exploring the Citadel and pick up lots of side-quests
• A useful journal! Longtime readers will know, I’m a bit fanatic about RPG journals. This one does the job, though could have done with listing the target locations more prominently. Iinstead, you’re forced to open up every single item repeatedly, to find the nearby missions.
• Force powers Biotics - These mysterious powers are great fun. There’s a little something for everyone - healing, direct damage, disabling, shields, sharpshooting… I love it. None of them look quite as spectacular as KOTOR2’s Force Storm, but the combination of Lift and an assault-rifle-wielding teammate looks impressively violent.
• Advancement - I’m not sure if BioWare did a sneaky enemies-level-up-with-you but if they did, it was very subtle and much more satisfying than Oblivion. In Oblivion as you got more powerful, it never felt that way because even the lowliest grass-dwelling bandit mysteriously sprouted glass armour and would kick your sorry ass unless you specialised in combat. In Mass Effect, you can do the majority of the game in any order and it’s always challenging, but you still get the feeling of becoming more powerful.

The Bad:

• The interface and dialogue system. The interface will need a whole post to explain, so I’ll save that for another time. Just trust me, it’s rubbish.
• Uncharted worlds - These are fun to start with. The first time you get dropped on an uncharted world, it’s a breathtakingly beautiful scene. The next hundred and fifty seven times start to grate. Ultimately, the uncharted worlds all feel the same - drive around from way point to way point, drive in circles shooting something, fall off a mountain, find building, kill everyone, search back room (or for variety, upstairs back room), play unlocking mini-game, The End. But it’s the only way to get that level 50 achievement so, for some insane reason, I did them all. There’s no way I’m going for level 60 on another playthrough.
• Repetition - The endless combat in corridors for the main quest does get a little samey after a while.
• Achievements - If you collect gamerpoints compulsively, Mass Effect will swallow you for days. Assuming that you play as efficiently as possible, you’ll have to play the game all the way through twice and the middle four planets at least once more with different allies. Considering it took me around 40 hours to hit level 50 with almost all the sidequests, that’s something in the region of 80-100 hours to get all the gamerpoints. I’d advise you to rent Avatar: The Burning Earth instead, but you probably already did.
• Tower of Hanoi - Has BioWare ever made an RPG that didn’t feature the Tower of Hanoi? I’ve been solving this puzzle for at least 15 years now. I know it was in KOTOR and I’m sure I saw it in another BioWare game. Here’s a compromise; show us the puzzle and have a character ask what it is. If we answer Tower (or Towers) of Hanoi we get a free pass, okay?

In summary:

It’s a brilliant space-shooter RPG. Mass Effect would get my vote for Game of The Year 2007.

Mysteriously HUD-Free Screenshots

Popularity: 13% [?]

Age rating:

16+ (PEGI)

What is it?

A 12th Century Grand Theft Auto, but with horses and parkour

Is it fun?

Yes.

Is it worth the money? £39.99

Yes.

Why?

Just for the sheer enjoyment of being totally submersed in a beautifully realised game world. This really is a game that you can play for hours and hours without really noticing. It’s quite easy to spend an entire day leaping around the rooftops, collecting flags (for gamer points on the 360) and killing guards. The whole thing is so much fun. Your character, Altaïr, has a wonderful array of moves at his disposal which allow you to climb and leap over pretty much anything. This is the main attraction of the game and provides many, many hours of climbing fun. Also as Altaïr gains more skills you really feel him develop into an incredibly lethal assassin. This coupled with a simple control method (with quite a bit of help from the game) results in some spectacular looking kills and moves.

However, it seems the effort of creating this beautiful environment has resulted in Ubisoft skimping on the game play. It all seems so fantastic at the start. You initially travel to a lovely looking city (by horse) and complete some or all of the following tasks:

• Climb all the viewpoints
• Save the citizens
• Eavesdrop on a conversation or two
• Pickpocket someone
• Collect a set number of flags within a time limit
• Kill 3-5 targets within a time limit
• Kill your main assassination target

And that’s it. Repeat about 11 times (4 cities x 3 main targets to assassinate) and then some battles at the end. Surprisingly, I didn’t find the crushing repetitiveness of the game play annoying at all. In fact, it was all quite relaxing. You see you don’t have to think about what to do next, you just know what to do. This means you can sit back, enjoy the scenery and get on with the killing. Oh, apart from the unbelievably annoying voice artists they hired for the beggar women. Grrr, after you’ve heard them beg for the 10,000th time it really does grate.

Also you can’t skip any of the dialogue in the game, and believe me there is A LOT OF DIALOGUE. It’s so bad that I used the talky-talky bits as bathroom/food/phone a mate breaks. What’s worse is that everyone’s an asshole. They are all thoroughly unpleasant people, even your character. I didn’t feel the slightest bit of empathy, or desire to help him in anyway.

Another gripe, is the totally unnecessary scenes set in the present day. You see, you are actually playing a game in a game. Not only is this silly and pointless, but you can’t do anything other than walk around 1 room and sleep in your bed. Why? I fail to see what this adds to the game other than to annoying you even more. Oh, yeah, everyone’s an asshole in the present day too.

And finally, it’s a next-gen game without a single quick time event (QTE). Oh, the joy!

In summary: A good game (even with its many flaws) that could have been an amazing game had the developers spent more time on the game play.

Screenshots:

Popularity: 13% [?]

Age rating:

7+ (PEGI)

What is it?

Another Zelda game.

Is it fun?

Yes.

Is it worth the money? £22.99

Yes.

Why?

So the mega franchise that is Zelda finally makes it to the DS. Therefore it must use the stylus, which to be honest, it does very well. Controlling Link is a breeze (after Zelda gets kidnapped, as usual) and so is using all the weapons that he collects along the way. Also the cell shaded graphics look pretty good too, with great use being made of the dual screens (especially during boss battles). But underneath these fine new clothes, beats the heart of every other Zelda game ever. Same moves, same puzzles, same temple based game structure and the same weapons. It’s all the same. Again.

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed playing (most of) the Phantom Hourglass. It’s a game I’ve been wanting for ages (even bought a DS in preparation of it being released). But, there are some really annoying bits which keep recurring just to annoy you even more. Yes, I’m taking about you Mr Temple of the Ocean King. Whoever in Nintendo thought that making the player go through the same dungeon (temple) multiple times and against the clock, should be be forced to watch every Uwe Boll film. Forever. This single temple almost, and I say almost, ruined the entire game for me.

The are other problems too. The save system still sucks balls. It doesn’t quite save the game state, so you can’t resume part way though a temple. Instead you resume at set points throughout the map, sort of near where you last saved. But, isn’t meant to be a portable game? Play and save anywhere? Except you can’t, and because of this limitation I never once played through a temple whilst travelling. You can quite happily play the rest of the game, just not the temples. Also some of the puzzles (drawing ones mainly) are impossible to do unless you’re perfectly still.

Then you have the great little puzzles to solve and the fantastic boss battles. Drawing on the maps is a lovely addition and really helps the game as a whole, especially during each of the temples. Some of the cut sequences have some great comedy moments hidden inside them that just made me laugh. So there is lots of fun to be had from playing this game.

In summary:

It has all the good and bad bits of almost every Zelda game before it. If you’ve played one of those you won’t come across too many surprises in this DS version.

Screenshots

The Legend of Zelda - The Phantom Hourglass is out now

Popularity: 29% [?]

Well this was a disappointment. After a 6 year break since Turok: Evolution and 11 years since Turok - Dinosaur Hunter originally came out on the Nintendo 64, you’d think the developers could have come up with something better than this.

Maybe the rest of the game will turn out to be more fun than this demo, otherwise I’m not coming back. This demo was boring, linear, repetitive and heavily scripted. To start off you find yourself in a (very) dark cave in which you come across various Velociraptors, although they could have been pretty much anything. In fact, I couldn’t see a bloody thing even on a 40 inch HDTV*. What’s with the dark graphics? It’s not as if they look that good either. Not impressed.

When you finally get outside (no thanks to your useless team member) the massive open environments I was hoping for just failed to appear. Instead I found myself wandering through a claustrophobic (i.e. very intrusive foliage, means you can’t see very much) jungle area. Walk from point A to point B whilst being attacked at set points by dinosaurs (and I mean at set points, as I repeated certain bits to test this). During some of the set attacks you have to hit L2 and or R2 to fend of toothy dinosaur death. This became tiresome very quickly as it occurs quite a lot.

I expected the Turok demo to show off lots of pretty graphics, sound and big scary dinosaurs. But it didn’t and it wasn’t much fun to play either. Is this another Turok - Evolution (which was terrible)?

*The pitch blackness seems to be a feature of the PS3 version. On the Xbox 360 you can actually see where you going in the caves. There isn’t a gamma setting available on the demo, so it’s not that. Weird. Now if I had a choice, I plump for the Xbox 360 version.

Did anyone else like this Turok demo or notice the difference between the 2 versions (PS3 and Xbox 360)?

Update 21st Jan 08: This Turok demo surfaces on the UK PSN store on the 7th Feb 08. But I wouldn’t bother if I were you.

Turok is released on the 8th Feb 2008 on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC (spring 2008).

Popularity: 35% [?]

Age Rating:

3+ (PEGI)

What is it?

Some sort of hideously complicated farming/village sim.

Is it fun?

No!

Is it worth the money? (£24.99)

No!

Why not?

I’ll freely admit, I Do Not Get Harvest Moon. Even so, in the spirit of representing an Average Gamer, I’m writing this as someone entirely new to the franchise…

What the hell is Harvest Moon DS supposed to be? I’ve played Animal Crossing a lot so I get the concept of a relaxing game where you wander around collecting things. Harvest Moon seems to be like that, only a thousand times more complicated and without the helpful villagers to let you know what the hell is going on.

For starters, I get my new game, wander about and eventually discover that I should be tilling my field. There’s loads of debris in the form of rocks and logs. Not a problem. I soon discover how to pick them up and proceed throw them over the edge where they disappear.

WRONG!

They didn’t disappear at all. I was fly-tipping! The other townsfolk don’t like that at all. Why do I care? Well, I’m not entirely sure even after reading through sites like Fogu. Apparently the witch likes my littering. Do I want her favour? I have no freaking idea.

Another example; you can give random presents to women. Sometimes they’ll love them. Other times they’ll be hurt and offended and make snide remarks. I think affects my prospects of marrying them, which may or may not be a good thing. I hate it because there’s simply no way in-game to tell what they like and dislike. Even worse, I can’t work it out through trial and error. I have immense trouble recalling what I gave to who because everyone just blurs together into a haze of quirky villager. Write it down? Please. I already have a job.

The game is riddled with pitfalls like this. Considering the gameplay is about farming, maintaining your town and getting married, it seems a pretty big liability. Perhaps the best way to illustrate this complexity is with this choice quote by Jim/tyr888 on Yahoo! Answers:

“Before you can get married you must upgrade your house. Your spouse is not going to want to live in the tiny house you start out with! To upgrade you will first need to unlock Channel 2 on the Sprite Station. To open the channel you must buy something from Karen’s telephone store for 10 days.

When you unlock the Tv Shopping Channel 2, watch it every day. Eventually you will see the Table for sale. The little round table will only cost you 500 G. Call the Tv Shopping operators using your telephone and order the Table.

Only after you have received the Table can you then hire Gotz to increase the size of your house for the first time! You must own the Kitchen before he will upgrade your house a second time if you own the Japanese version. The English version does not require the kitchen. “

In other words…

This game is freaking complicated (or in-depth, if you prefer). I hated it. YMMV.

Screenshots

Popularity: 33% [?]

Age rating: 15+ (PEGI)

What is it?

The final part of the Bungie’s kill-em-all FPS.

Is it fun?

In parts.

Is it worth the money? £34.99

No, it’s one to rent.

Why?

Over-hyped and underwhelming were the two defining features of Halo 3 for me. The amount of hype layered (lathered and maybe a bit of smearing too) on Halo 3, by Microsoft, was pretty impressive. The problem is that when you separate the hype from Halo 3, you’re not left with a terribly impressive game (contrary to almost every other Halo 3 review available).

I really enjoyed Halo (apart from the idiotic last level). I wished Halo 2 was a lot longer, as I felt it was not only rushed but also a game too far for the struggling Xbox. So I approached Halo 3 with lots of optimism, as the Xbox 360 seemed to be the perfect vehicle for Bungie’s imagination. This optimism was all but obliterated after playing the first few levels. Boring and quite frankly lazy level design was the order of the day. Going back and forth over the same bit of a level is not a way to make it seem bigger. Heck, did Bungie forget they designed huge, and enjoyable, levels like the “The Silent Cartographer” in Halo? Sure there are glimpses of this kind of level design throughout the game. But all this good work is quickly undone with dull, pedestrian and repetitive levels.

The fight is finished in about 6 hours (for single/co-op mode), which is disappointingly short. You will clock up a lot more game time if you try to play it on legendary difficulty which Penny Arcade summed up perfectly with this comic. The graphics vary between pretty good to frequently poor (oooh, some of the cut scenes make your eyes bleed with all the jaggies). Sorry, but Gears of War has raised the bar in terms of FPS graphics, and sadly Halo 3 hasn’t quite caught up yet.

And finally the whole Halo 3 multiplayer experience. Well, I found it a bit sterile and boring to be honest, but it’s all very well done even so. Bungie brings you up to speed nicely with a newbie map at the start, so you’re not flapping around getting blasted by those Halo 3 veterans (that happens later). But I really wanted more variety in the game play, and not just from from playing different maps. When it came down to it I wanted Team Fortress 2 and its class based killing (and healing if you’re an overworked, and underused medic). I really tried to like Halo 3’s multiplayer game, but it just left me cold.

In summary:

A disappointing end to the hype fight (didn’t stop 8.1 million copies of Halo 3 being sold).

Screenshots:

Update 21st Jan 2008: Here’s another Halo 3 review that doesn’t get caught up in the hype.

Popularity: 22% [?]

Age rating: 15+ (PEGI)

What is it?

First person shooter set in the Half-Life universe.

Is it fun?

Yes.

Is it worth the money?

PC - £26.28 via steam, Xbox 360 £26.99 (inc. p+p)
Not on its own, but as part of the Orange Box. Yes, yes, hell yes.
Continue Reading

Popularity: 22% [?]