The Average Gamer

Gamer Banter: Worst Game EVAR!

As an average gamer who pays for all her own games, I’m pretty good at avoiding the terrible ones. At £30+ quid a pop in an industry with stupendous marketing budgets I usually make damn sure I’ve done my research before buying anything. Yet I have a terrible disability when it comes to the two Computer Exchange branches just off Tottenham Court Road in London.

I’m not sure what caused it; perhaps a it’s throwback to my student days spent walking past on the way to ULU and not being able to afford even the second-hand games. Whatever the reason, I now have tremendous difficulty leaving a branch of Computer Exchange empty-handed. I’ll impulse buy something that’s priced below my arbitrary threshold that day and given that they sell games as cheaply as £3, there’s always something I can afford.

Yes, the thought that if they’re selling a game at £3, there’s probably a reason why does cross my mind but it’s usually dismissed by “Ah, it’ll be a laugh and it’s good to try something different.” Sometimes I’ll try to google a couple of reviews on my phone but mostly I can’t be bothered with the 3G download speed. Lost Odyssey was a decent purchase, as was Evil Genius.

That whole “it’s so bad that it’s funny” thing you get with films? Yeah, that’s doesn’t happen with games. Star Trek: Legacy is likely to be the game that cures my affliction. Way way back in the 90s I really enjoyed the Wing Commander series and the Star Trek: 25th Anniversary game. Sounds like a cross between the two, right? And it’s by Bethesda Softworks who did Fallout 3 and Elder Scrolls. Gotta have some redeeming value, right?

WRONG! They may have all sorts of detail on weapon effects, damage modelling and “fully realised nebulas” but the gameplay is ATROCIOUS. It tries to be part RTS, part space combat but the HUD makes it difficult to tell whether you’re controlling your own ship or a whole squadron. Bit of a problem in an RTS. Even when you successfully give your other ships orders you get little feedback when they reach their destinations and they’ll just sit on their fat arses on the other side of a planet waiting for further instructions while you’re in full-scale combat. I think I played maybe 3 missions and then gave up in disgust. Life is too short and Alan Wake is still calling out to me.

There was one memorable mission where we had to escort a bunch of ships carrying urgent medical supplies to a bunch of planets. So, I hop into my map interface; hey look, there are the ships! Great, who’s going to which planet?

No idea. That’s okay, I’ll just instruct them to follow us and we’ll travel in a pack to each planet; safety in numbers, right?

Nope. Can’t give instructions to the civilian suppliers. I had to wait until they moved a bit and try to guess which ship was going to which planet. Worst of all, I couldn’t even give my ships instructions like “Orbit this planet” or set a series of waypoints to patrol. Nope, I could choose ONE destination for each ship at a time and was forced to hop back and forth between ships trying to spot and fight the enemy.

Don’t even get me started on the dogfights. I’ll give you this much; Starfleet ships have all the manoeuvrability of a tortoise on Temazepam…

This post was part of Gamer Banter, a monthly video game discussion coordinated by Terry at Game Couch. If you’re interested in being part of this, please email him for details.

Other takes:

Game Couch: The Worst Game Ever
Silvercublogger: It’s all about integrity
Yuki-Pedia: Love, thy name is rage quit
Master Kitty’s World: What were they thinking???
Zath: What’s the worst game you’ve ever played?
SnipingMizzy: What is there to love?
The Game Fanatics: What is the worst game you’ve ever played?
Pioneer Project: Making the best of a bad situation
gunthera1_gamer: The game I could have loved!
Extra Guy: Battle Blaze — 700 pounds of ‘don’t do it’

Curious about the verdict? Read our review policy.

12 Comments

  1. Terry

    27th Aug, 2010 at 1:52 am

    I liked Legacy enough, but I was really hoping for a Starfleet Command experience on my console. I had the exact same issues you had on the medical mission — the inability to set any commands other than “go here” made no sense!

    Worse, this game had no support post release and it really needed a few patches and some delivery on the DLC promise.

  2. Mizzy

    27th Aug, 2010 at 1:59 am

    Ouch! Sad to see a Star Trek rated so horribly, but it seems people will never learn that Star Trek wasn’t really meant to be a video game, because it’s not really involving. Any wars that took place canonically are “history” and people move on.

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  4. Michelle

    27th Aug, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    I haven’t played the game you’ve mentioned admittedly, but I do think the “it’s so bad that it’s funny” rule for movies and TV shows does extend to games – just look at games like Deadly Premonitions as a case in point.

    I love that game to pieces, but it took a good hour or two of soul searching for me to “get” it’s charm and see what it was doing.

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  6. Yukino

    27th Aug, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    Yes, sometimes bad games need to be left alone, even if they cost you less than a dollar. Case in point, the first Call of Juarez or Vampire Rain.

    Then there is Deadly Premonition, as Michelle mentioned. I do still want to play that game, as I love horror games and the B through D rated horror movies. There are a few instances in which the “so bad it’s good” rule applies to games, just not nearly as many as with movies.

  7. Debbie "Weefz" Timmins

    28th Aug, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Terry: Yes, that would have been much better. Bring on Starfleet Command!

    Mizzy: Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. It’s a big universe – I’m sure there’s plenty of space out there for a new ship’s officer to work his way through the ranks, have his own adventures and visit the iconic bases and old battlegrounds :)

    Michelle, Yukino: I don’t know Deadly Premonition but I’ll have a look for it next time I’m in the second-hand game store.

  8. Silvercube

    30th Aug, 2010 at 11:50 am

    Was this game for the PC? The graphics look nice! Good article.

    I generally hate escort missions lol!! There was a few in Robotech: Battlecry (I think that’s what it was called, came out about 8 or 9 years ago on Gamecube/PS2/Xbox — great anime graphics) — had some annoying missions!! One in particular had me really mad, forget what the details about it were, it was awhile ago.

    Sorry it took so long to respond, was under the weather the last few days : )

    • Debbie "Weefz" Timmins

      30th Aug, 2010 at 12:07 pm

      Hey Silvercube, it was a 360 game. Looked beautiful but so frustrating! Escort missions are always the worst. Never understand why they don’t let you control your escort at least a little bit. Let me tell the guy where to go and just give me a time limit coz if I don’t deliever the meds in 12 hours EVERYBODY DIES!!!1 or something. A bit of autonomy would help calm the feeling that I’m escorting a complete idiot.

  9. DrunkRobot

    8th Sep, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    I agree 1000%!!!! Aside from being a gamer I’m a life long Trek fan so it they had put any thought or effort into this game I probably would have like it. But this is bullshit! Aside from being bad, the game just doesn’t work. It’s filled with bugs and glitches on top of the worst control mapping I’ve ever seen. I mean really… this is like a second year gaming student’s final project. The people who made this game should be barred from ever working in gaming again (unfortunately, too late)! Thank god I only paid $9.00 for it used. If I’d paid $60 for this piece of crap I would have driven up to their offices in Boston and demanded my money back personally!

    • Debbie "Weefz" Timmins

      8th Sep, 2010 at 1:37 pm

      Haha, me too! £5 was okay but do publishers still not understand that this is why the second-hand market is thriving so much? Games are just too expensive to try out and you can get some real dogs disguised as good entertainment.

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