The Average Gamer

Black and White 2 Review (PC)

Age Rating: PG

What is it?

A god game with a fighting pet and some warmongering

Is it fun?

No! No! A thousand times no!

Is it worth the money? £27.99

No! You could buy yourself a Darth Tater and a Spud Trooper for that.

Why not?

Tutorials are condescending and treat you like you don’t have the intelligence to infer how to move left once it teaches you how to move right. Nope, you have to sit there and listen to the floaty guy explain it verrrry slowly, with diagrams.

Playing good is basically city planning but you have to place each individual building and then help the people build them. Tedious.

Playing evil can be quite destructive and entertaining, but the villagers are slow-moving idiots. I built a wall and got my archers all nicely lined up on the top looking down at the invading army. I told them to fire on the invaders and what did they do? They climbed off the wall, lined up behind it and fired their arrows over the wall onto the invaders they could no longer see. Brilliant! Not.

I played through loads of the game on the first day I got it, saved, checked out the official site and found out there was a patch that completely killed my savegame and I had to sit through everything I’d just played again. Rubbish!

Buy the original game. It had its flaws but the creature was cute and friendly. My ape would ran laps round the village store and then delight in knocking down trees by pooing on them. Bizarre… It only costs a fiver. Much better value!


Morning Scenery Wolf

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