London’s first “hands-free”, pee-controlled videogames have been installed in The Exhibit Bar in South London. Now before you get over-excited, hands-free means that you don’t need a controller to play the game. It doesn’t hold Mr Johnson for you while you wee. At first I thought they were taking the piss (I’m so sorry), but soon discovered that this is real deal. It seems that finally men have something to do at a urinal other than whistle and look awkwardly at the wall.

Players move their stream from left to right at the green, circular aiming-reticules in the bowl to control the actions on a small screen above the urinal. As well as the two green targets, there is also a “Start” button in the bowl, presumably for two main reasons: 1) to show newcomers that they are actually controlling the events on-screen; and 2) to stop drunken punters from thinking it’s a touch-screen and smearing kebab and booze all over it.

Captive-Media have developed urinals which encourage punters to test their aim in a selection of different challenges. The system has three different games built-in: Clever Dick, a true-or-false quiz game; On the Piste, where players ski down the slopes, guiding their avatar into the path of as many penguins as possible; and the arcade classic Breakout.

Trying the games out for myself (using my hands, not my wee – I was wearing new shoes) the games were simple but fun. On The Piste is an endurance game where you hit the slopes and hit penguins along the way, avoiding barriers which slow down your avatar. Clever Dick is a fun quiz game which provides simple true/false questions and you have to answer as many questions as possible in 30 seconds. The developers noted that the questions in Clever Dick are deliberately easy. It takes an average 55 seconds to use the loo, so one can’t spend much time deliberating over a tricky answer in the limited flow-time.

Now of course, men have been playing pee-based games for years, chasing urinal cakes up and down the trough, or writing your name in the snow, but this is the first attempt to build an intuitive videogame around men’s bathroom visits.

There will be local and online leaderboards, and players will be able to post their scores to social media sites using their smart phones. The units can also be installed in women’s loos too. Don’t panic, women won’t be required to stand while they urinate in order to play. The monitors also work by moving your hands across the sensors [Why women would want to do this, I have no idea - Ed]. Naturally, there is the possibility for high-score hunters to use this and cheat, as shown by two absurdly high scores obtained by the bar staff at On The Piste.

The developers even discussed the possibility in the future for multiplayer (not in the same bowl, of course) with players able to compete across multiple urinals. The classic rule applies: never cross the streams. That would just be weird.

Captive Media have also opened up the possibility for consumers to suggest and develop new games. Any games which people would like to develop for the technology can enter their ideas on the company’s website.

It seems that slot machines, darts, cards and other pub games were simply insufficient; now men will be able to play even with their waste without being called childish or disgusting. Look for Captive Media’s quirky games in a bar near you some time in 2012.

If you’re interested in more pee-related shenanigans, MIT did some urine-controlled games back in 2002 (thanks for the link, Matt Boch) and during January this year, SEGA temporarily installed similar games into urinals in Japan. You can also see a video of the games I tried at The Exhibit on the BBC website.

Let’s take a look at the top selling games and movies from 2010, to see how these massive earning, blockbuster titles were dealt with respectively by the game and movie press.

Top Grossing Movies 2010 – US

Source: Box Office Mojo

Top Grossing Games 2010 – NPD US figures

Source: Gameasutra (for multiplatform games, the top scoring edition was used)

The reviews and subsequent Metacritic scores awarded to most of the Top Ten films are fairly decent, but not great. In fact, four of the Top Ten received scores in the 50-60 range. Yet despite these scores, the films were all a resounding box office success in 2010. In light of that, should these sub-60 scores be seen as ‘bad’ for a blockbuster movie? Probably not.

Pain is temporary, pride is forever. Do you maggots understand that?

Wow, those must be some games… right? Surely they aren’t just sequels to established franchises, featuring near identical gameplay to last year’s editions? Well, OK, maybe a couple of them are. Fair enough.

But the other games on the list must surely be comparable to some of the masterpieces of modern cinema, given their exceptional ratings? Well, not necessarily.*

Modern Warfare 2 is a prime example. Sure, the single player campaign was pretty spectacular, with bodies flying everywhere and a snowmobile chase, but did anyone really keep up with the frankly ludicrous and confusing storyline? Looking at its Metacritic rating of 94, is this game really deserving of more praise than such classic war movies as Apocalypse Now (Metacritic Score: 90), Full Metal Jacket (78), or The Deer Hunter (73)?

Red Dead Redemption (95) was undoubtedly one of the best games of 2010. It is a brilliant and evocative take on the Western genre, but boy was it long and pretty darn repetitive at times. Surely its cultural significance is not greater than the Oscar winning Unforgiven (82), in which Clint Eastwood reinvented the fading Western genre for a new generation of film goers.

Just Dance 2 (74) has fantastic mass market appeal, and is a great cross generational casual gaming title, but is it really that much more of an achievement than the Patrick Swayze starring, all singing and dancing ‘offically-all-time-most-popular-chickflick’ Dirty Dancing (66)? Or even Flashdance (35)?

Would you put Sharon in the corner?

In addition to this tendency towards awarding high scores too readily, there seems to also be a trend in game reviewing for over scoring mediocre games – illustrated well by the achievements of the slightly-less-than-classic Mafia II.

Sitting outside the top 10 for 2010, Mafia II came in with a comfortable Metacritic score of 77 (PC), easily outscoring the Puzo-penned, Coppolla-directed movie The Godfather Part II. Coppola’s cinematic classic limps in with a paltry 71 in comparison. Without really wishing to offend any section of the Mafia, I would have to stick my neck on the line and say that, in a Mafia war, Pacino’s crew would get the nod from me.

Looking at this summer’s movie and game releases, it seems apparent that the game scores being handed out are far more generous than those given to movies, particularly in terms of the middle ground. Three quarters of the games released on Xbox 360 this Summer have garnered Metacritic scores of 60 or more. In comparison, only just over a third of movie releases have managed the same.

What can this mean? Was this round of summer video game releases really that superior to their movie equivalents? Or is this more indicative of a scoring pattern that has shifted inexorably towards the top end of the scale, where video games are concerned?

Far too many games seem to be awarded comfortable scores of 6, 7 or even 8 in the gaming press without really deserving it. There are a number of games currently sitting in that 6-8 comfort zone that I have tried, and would frankly not encourage anyone to waste their time playing. By the same token, there are some absolute gems that have been lumped into that same 6-8 scoring band, which may have been missed by a large proportion of the gaming public. Is it not time for a bit more maturity and self reflection in the use of scoring systems, so that the products being reviewed are more accurately described, and we actually start discriminating properly between what we feel are good and bad games?

I know that the gaming industry is still very much in its infancy, and is really only just being accepted as part of mainstream media culture, but don’t we owe it to ourselves, and to the industry as a whole, to be slightly more honest about the quality of product that is being produced? There is still going to be a market for low scoring games, and we don’t have to kid ourselves that every blockbuster gaming title produced is going to be an instant classic. By regularly over scoring these blockbuster titles, are we not denying coverage to some of the more interesting games that tend to get overlooked, and fall far too quickly into the ‘bargain bins’, or sit gathering virtual dust on the digital shelves of the Xbox Live and PSN stores?

Scores out of 10 for this article are welcome below. They will possibly be sorted and presented in the form of a pie chart at some point.

*Disclaimer: I do realise that it is slightly facetious to directly compare movies and games, but I am doing so to make a point. Thank you.

Google+ Games:

Google has added games to its Google+ project. Unsurprisingly Angry Birds and Bejeweled are amongst some of the games that you can play right now for free. However, unlike Facebook everything to do with games like notifications and invites are confined to a separate steam so they won’t get in the way of your normal conversations. At the moment Google are in the process of rolling out games to everyone on Google+, so look for a games button at the top of your steam soon.

F1 Online: The Game

Formula 1 is coming to a browser near you during Q1 2012 in the form of Formula 1 Online: The Game. Featuring a top-down view of the racing players will be able create, manage and drive for their own F1 team. You will also get the opportunity to manage the research, commercial, production and race crew side of your team. All 2011 F1 teams, drivers and circuits will be included along with track data and assets from the PC version of F1 2011.

MineCon 2011:

The MineCon 2011 website is now live and you can also buy your tickets to the convention. Costing $99 until the 30th Sep 2011 from which the price then rises to $139 the tickets will give you access to:

• Official Minecraft launch
• Costume contests
• Keynote speeches (including one by Notch)
• Breakout classes with all different Minecraft topics
• Build contests
• Exhibits by gaming and Minecraft related companies
• Commemorative merchandise

MineCon 2011 takes place on the 18th-19th Nov 2011 in the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino Las Vegas, USA.

Ridge Racer: Unbounded:

Amongst the host of new stuff to be included in this new Ridge Racer game is the ability for players to create cities to race around. This feature is revealed in this brand new trailer released for Gamescom 2011 which starts next week.

In 1989, my family ‘got on the Internet’, as they say. Dialing up local Singaporean BBSs on our 2400 MNP modem, I discovered TradeWars 2002 and learned about capitalising on market forces; buying low, selling high and blowing the shit out of the competition. TradeWars 2002 was a turn-limited space game launched in 1984 that you played with and against other players. You were aware of their actions in-game but never really spoke with other people directly. Sometimes I laugh when I hear these exact mechanics described as “social games” just because they’re now on Facebook.

Moving on to 1996, I discovered the Discworld MUD and changed my life.

The MUDding years

Up until then I was a painfully shy child and teenager. Sure, I had friends but for one reason or another, I had terrible trouble talking to people I didn’t already know. Couldn’t stand it, would get very embarrassed if asked a direct question. As I kid I would go red and hide behind my parents. As a teen, I would probably give you a monosyllabic answer. The Discworld MUD helped me break through an awful lot of that. It was a place where lateral thinking and logic were rewarded, not seen as traits that makes you a bit weird. It was a place where you could train together with people and work towards a common goal or choose to run around by yourself solving puzzlers and nobody would bat an eyelid. Most of all, it was a place where an awkward teenager could try on personalities and see how other people react.

I was playing for maybe 6 hours a day, more on the weekends. When you’re on dial-up and have to pay for your phone calls, that is a hell of a lot of time. This was during high school and somehow I managed to juggle my GCSEs, the International Baccalaureate, a couple of boyfriends (sequentially, btw) and being in a band. I still managed to rack up 73 days of my life in-game. Yes, over 1750 hours logged into a single text-based game, across 3 alts. Luckily, I’m really good at classroom learning because the sum total of my GCSE studying was considerably less – 20 minutes and only because the teachers broke up our pre-exam card game. (5As, 4Bs, tyvm). Does being naturally good at classroom learning and tests give me a greater leeway for vice? I was clearly not living up to my full potential.

But even as I neglected my studies, I learned to be social in other ways. I made friends across Asia, Australia and a few night owls in the UK. I got ‘married’ to another player just for the hell of it and still have the pointless wedding gifts in my character’s vault; a crystal ladle, a nicely-painted picture and pink toy hippo. My ‘husband’ then spent the next few weeks trying to consummate the marriage and we soon got ‘divorced’.

I lost friends, too. One of the guys I frequently joked around with committed suicide during those years, a student at the Australian Defense Force Academy. Sometimes I wonder if I should have known, if there was something I could have done. I guess the Discworld MUD was his escape too.

Another guy, I visited in Sydney. When I moved over to London for university we emailed frequently. I’d known him so long, it was good to share the culture shock of moving from expatriate Singapore to the UK with someone who wasn’t struggling with the same thing. We’re still friends – he’s in London as well now and I went to his 31st birthday party back in December. In true Internet-friend style, we live 3 miles apart and still only see each other twice a year.

Those 73 days on the Discworld MUD played a huge part in developing my self-confidence. As an ungainly teenager who was no good at sports and uninterested in gossip or shopping or the other things that 16-year-old girls talk about, it was a place where I could discuss things that mattered to me and not get laughed at or shunned for being nerdy. I think a lot of people got the same things out of IRC but without the shared sense of purpose, IRC has always felt a little thin to me.

I moved on from MUDding a long time ago. The Discworld MUD is still running and continually being expanded. I simply don’t have the time, nor the inclination to catch up on everything that’s changed in the past 11 years. Sometimes I’ll pop in just to keep my character alive, though given that the deletion criterion is being idle for 60 times your character age, I can go a good 7 years without logging in. When I do stop by, it amuses me no end to meet people I helped out as newbies who no longer remember my name but take one look at my character and go “Ooo, I remember that description. I met you on my first day here. Thanks for your help :)” It’s happened more than once.

In Real Life

One of the experts on the BBC World Service show was Professor Mark Griffiths of Nottingham Trent University. He’s talked about games addiction quite a bit and on the show today he shared some disturbing anecdotes of children getting violent when their Internet access was taken away. Recently in The Guardian:

“I’ve got very strict criteria that I use for video-game addiction: it has to be the most important thing in that person’s life. They have to use it as a way of consistently and reliably shifting their mood.” An addict, he says, is unable to stop playing even when they know they ought to, with knock-on effects on their work and their relationships. “If you’re unemployed with no partner and no kids and from the moment you wake up you play video games, and you play all day, that’s not an addiction. Addiction has nothing to do with the amount of time you spend on something. If an addict is unable to play they’ll get withdrawal symptoms.”
– Mark Griffiths as quoted by Tom Meltzer, I was a games addict, The Guardian

I quit my NHS project management job in July to set up a food and nutrition website. Instead, I found myself spending more and more time writing about games even though I know the food website could be more profitable. 90% of my socialising in the past few months has been with gamers and games journalists. I talk about games on a daily basis through Twitter. When I’m sad, angry or bored, playing games makes me happy.

When I do play games, I’d much rather play for a 6 hour stretch than pick up a controller for 20 minutes. I am chronically late to social engagements because of that infernal “just 5 more minutes”. You all know what I’m talking about.

When I don’t play any games for more than a week I get headaches that are cured by playing games. True story; it’s happened twice this year already. This is the only part of my hobby that worries me slightly but I’m not sure what I can do about it. I also get listless and grumpy. The world seems flat and is a depressing and difficult place to be – you only need to crack open a newspaper or flip on the TV to see that truth. The games I play remind me that there are people out there who believe we can change things for the better. Have a look at Jane McGonigal’s work – gamers have been conditioned to be eternal optimists and that’s no bad thing.

I would be a games addict but I’m saved by this line from the article:

“So long as you can stop when you have to for school, work, meals, friends and family, intense game playing is just like any other hobby.”

I may have successfully redefined work and friends to be centred around gaming, but it’s all okay :) Here’s another take on games addiction by Aoife of Ginx TV.

Caught In The Web is a programme by Vera Frankl, investigating Internet Addiction Disorder. You can download it as a podcast from the Discovery series page (23rd March 2011) or through this direct link.

In terms of form factor, the Xperia PLAY looks very similar to the PSP Go as well as being able to access the PlayStation Store. This should mean that the Xperia PLAY has a massive selection of games available from day one, but this still needs to be confirmed.

Xperia PLAY Tech Specs:

• Screen: 4-inch, 854×480-pixel touch screen
• CPU: 1GHz Qualcomm Snapdragon QSD8255
• OS: Gingerbread (Android 2.3)
• RAM: 512MB
• GPU: Adreno 205
• Handset: Qualcomm MSM8655 chipset
• Controls: Traditional PlayStation d-pad and buttons
• Camera: 5.1 MP (auto focus, LED flash and 720p HD video)
• Expansion slot: microSD
• Connectivity: Bluetooth and Wi-fi
• Battery: 1500 mAh

Here is a video of the Xperia PLAY in action showing off Biohazard 2 (aka Resident Evil 2) and Rage Racer:

There is also a slightly disturbing Android with thumbs advert:

You will be able to watch the launch event online at the Xperia PLAY Facebook page.

From Sunday I will be reporting from the Mobile World Congress 2011, so keep checking this website and the TheAvgGamer twitter account for all the latest mobile tech and gaming news from the event.

Sony Ericsson Xperia PLAY will be available later on this year from O2 and Vodaphone.

Later on in the year sees the release of other big 3DS games like Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Metal Gear Solid, Resident Evil and Kid Icarus. There is also a 3D version of Mario Kart in the works too.

3DS Launch Games:

• Pilotwings Resort
• Nintendogs + Cats: Golden Retriever
• Nintendogs + Cats: French Bulldog
• Nintendogs + Cats: Toy Poodle
• Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition
• The Sims 3
• PES 2011 3D
• LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars
• Ridge Racer 3D
• Super Monkey Ball 3D
• Samurai Warriors: Chronicles
• Asphalt 3D
• Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars
• Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell 3D
• Rayman 3D

Tell us which launch games you are going to buy (if any) in the comments.

Someone has actually posted a pie chart in one of the comments for this article on Eurogamer, after several people requested one. However, I was halfway through creating the magnificent beast you see above and ours is better anyway. Look, 3D!

Pie charts are awesome, Eurogamer. Use them instead of all the words. K’thx’bye.

The theme changes every month and now it is the turn for games to take centre stage. Here’s a list of the exclusive events for this month:

• Game of Death – The aim is an impoverished death. Don’t make money, lose it!
• Game Theory – Gresham College Professor Michael Mainelli discusses game theory and how it affects our lives
• Games Zone – Play games on a massive screen with 49 other people at the same time
• Punk Science – Puerile science-based humour performed by idiots and games related
• Games Collection – Play some of classic computer games from the Museum’s collection

You’ll also be able to take part in the silent disco, test your knowledge in the pub quiz and play in the Launchpad Gallery without any kids getting in the way. [Editor's note: I LOVE the Launchpad gallery. Echo tubes, pivots, leverage, crazy light-sensitive shadow panels... it's an awesome room :)]

Science museum members also get:

• Skip the queues – Priory access via the groups entrance
• Free drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic)
• Relax in the VIP area
• Build your own chocolate covered fruit skewer in the “Pacman Skewer Challenge”
• Try the exclusive Mario’s Super Comfort cocktail
• Be personally escorted to events

If you want to become a Science Museum member (and gets loads of other benefits) there is a special buy one get one free offer on the night. Or you can join via the Science Museum website.

If you need any more convincing how fun these nights are then check out the promo video below. See adults having lots and lots of fun :-)

Give us a shout on the Twitter account if you’re coming along and we will see you at the Science Museum.

Fortunately, I had the privilege of being invited to the Japanese Embassy recently to see Takahashi Keita (creator of Katamari Damacy), Mark Stephenson (level designer on Little Big Planet) and Martin Hollis (director/producer of that N64 classic GoldenEye) ruminate over the nature of play at an event called The Videogame Playground. Perhaps these experts could help me shed some light on things.

Introductions

The event was chaired by Iain Simons of Game City, a series of events to showcase games and play in Nottingham. You probably heard back in October that Takahashi would be combining his experience in sculpture and games to design a playground – Iain Simons is the man responsible for that. Latest update on the playground is that it’s going to increase the size of the current play area in the park by about ten-fold, every piece of equipment will be custom-made and the whole thing will be tremendously expensive. The playground design is almost legal now. Gotta respect those Health and Safety regs.

Fun

Rather than jumping straight into the panel discussion, we had 2 presentations, from Mark Stephenson and Takahashi Keita. Stephenson started out by reminding us that playing should be fun. It sounds obvious, but given that certain unnamed designers seem to misunderstand the balance between challenging fun and frustrating annoyance, I think the lesson bears repeating. Stephenson joined Media Molecule to make warm and inviting games – worth mentioning because I’m sure there are plenty of men out there who are sick of being tarred as fools who just want endless versions of war re-enactment. We were shown a lovely LBP trailer (which immediately made me want to go home and play the game again) and taught some of Mark’s core principles:

• Playing is fun
• Learning and experimenting is fun
• Expressing yourself is fun
• Making friends is fun

Yup, they’re simple concepts but they work. I was over at a friend’s house playing 4-player LBP only last week – once you plow through the 2+ million levels and find something that isn’t designed solely to spread mediocre objects like viruses, it’s a brilliant cooperative experience. So easy to lose an hour figuring out what we’re expected to do and just laughing at each other’s ineptitude. Also a handy way to find out which of your friends is incapable of following instructions. (“On 3″ means ON THREE goddammit, not AFTER THREE! FFS!)

Final takeaway tip from the LBP talk – most of the best community levels are apparently done by Japanese designers. Don’t know why, but they apparently do cute and inspiring very well.

The Videogame Playground was supported by the Embassy of Japan in the UK, the National Videogame Archive, BAFTA and Nintendo. Subscribe to the The Average Gamer or come back in a couple of days to find out what we learned in Takahashi’s talk and the panel discussion.

Here’s a basic summary of the plans, shamelessly lifted from the official site:

• Friday 6pm till 10pm: round-the-table games, spectator-friendly games, and one great big hundred-player chasing-across-the-Southbank game.
• Saturday 12 noon till 6pm: with sonar goggles, noise, blindfolds, musicians, adventures, puzzles, electronic devices, new sports, and loads more.
• Saturday 8:30pm till late: it’s party time at the ICA, with Lost & Found and Stoke Newington International Airport – pick up tickets in advance for £6, or £8 on the door.
• Sunday 12 noon till 5:30: and on Sunday there’s still more games, including a link-up with players in Delhi, an impossibly large game of Pass the Parcel, jumping around on pavement stones, strategy, silliness and a really lovely last day of the Weekender.

Lots more details and a progamme .pdf available on the Hide and Seek Weekender 2010 site. You need to book for some games in advance so please have a look beforehand.

I’ll be there on Saturday and I’m very tempted by giant pass-the-parcel on Sunday. Follow me on Twitter and drop me a message if you’re there!

[via Miss Geeky - Event: Hide and Seek Weekender]