Controlling your blue character, Putty, you’ll be stretching, squashing, jumping and bouncing him around the levels in search of your missing squad of red “putties”.

As you might expect, Putty is a malleable sort of character. He’ll happily bobble along, rolling across the screen, and stretching across gaps to reach distant platforms, climb ladders or otherwise manoeuvre his way around the maps. You can inflate him to grab floating stars, lie flat to avoid incoming missiles and form fists to punch his way through enemies.

It’s a much more nuanced game than you’d think from simply looking. Over here, enemies must be dispatched with rockets. Over there, you can destroy the annoying mosquito-like floaters if you hit them on the side, but with perfect timing you can keep jumping on them from above and get a free (albeit precarious) ride across the map. And over in a quiet corner you’ll find a small wedge of cheese which will warp you into the closed area of the map hiding that last red putty.

Cheese teleports? Yeah. I don’t know either.

Putty has access to a host of weapons and items – nitro for the better-armoured enemies, a small rocket pod, a disguise so other creatures don’t recognise you, spring-loaded platforms to reach higher levels and more. You’ll also find items hidden in blocks around the map.

Each level is time-limited so there’s a lot to do. Rescue your red putties, gather stars to power up your attacks and kill things to gain valuable extra seconds. It’ll certainly keep you busy. In the level I played, I found dozens of ways to proceed thanks to the range of items and skills that Putty gains. Punching incoming rockets is immensely satisfying but requires precision timing.

Here’s a gameplay video:

Challenge mode gives you lots of replayability. For example, you must pass a certain score iwthin the time limit, complete it without losing any lives, or don’t use any food to boost your energy. Complete all the challenges and you gain a virtual sticker for your book.

The game will launch with plenty of maps and every 2 weeks, System 3 will be releasing a new level. This will be completely free for people who’ve earned enough in-game stickers, or you can buy each one for a small few. Seems like a pretty good trade-off to me.

Putty Squad will be coming to PS3, PS Vita, PSP, Xbox 360, PC, 3DS and Wii U this summer.

Sonic: Lost World was announced “a brand new action-adventure platforming game” exclusively for Wii U and Nintendo 3DS. We only saw this one picture, and more info will be available before E3.

Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games: SEGA are continuing their series of Olympic games. Sports included are speed skating, figure skating pairs, curling, slalom, downhill skiing, snowboarding and more. Controls will be a mix of Wiimote and GamePad, with certain events like biathlon requiring you to switch rapidly between the two.

As always, there will be the normal modes and the “dream” modes where players can do more fantastical moves.

Game & Wario: All gamers will share the Gamepad with no Wiimote use required. It’ll be out on June 28th. Here’s the trailer:

If you want full details, there’s an English transcription of a Game & Wario Iwata Asks here.

Resident Evil Revelations: The Wii U version will have a new difficulty mode called Infernal. Hank and Rachel have been added and the gamepad will display the map or control keypads. Miiverse mode will allow you friends to add “voices” to the enemies.

The Wii U version will be out on 24th May. A downloadable demo is out now from the Nintendo eShop, as is the 3DS version.

New Super Luigi U: Seen in the previous Direct, Luigi U modifies NSMBU with new takes on the old locations and different powers. Nabbit, from NSMBU, is now playable in multiplayer mode. Even though it’s an add-on for NSMBU, they are also releasing a standalone retail version on july 26th. Or you can download the add-on from June 20th. No pricing details for the standalone version were revealed

The Wonderful 101: This will be out on 23rd August but no more details were revealed.

Pikmin 3: Due to an accident, the three player characters, Charlie, Brittany and Alph have crash landed on a planet and encounter the pikmin. They need to find resources and repair the spaceship so they can get home.

After extracting fruit seeds, explorers can create food to explore further. You can only explore from dawn to dusk. Players can set up dmixed groups of pikmin to take different powers into an area. IF you make a mistake, you can replay the day or a portion of the day instead of restarting from scratch.

The Wii U Gamepad is a “Kop Pad” which displays the map and controls the overhead camera. You can monitor what your pikmin are doing around the map.

You can also control it with the Motion Pluss Wiimote and nunchuk, or the pro controller.

Pikmin 3 will be out on 26th July.

You can watch the whole Nintendo Direct here, if you like. See anything that excites you?

You play Lieutenant Lynx, running around on the ground, hurling repair fields and other toys from a range that grows steadily as you work your way through the story. These are vital, not just occasionally, but constantly. Your various vehicles take a hell of a beating, and your devoted attention is necessary to get them any distance at all.

In addition to the repair fields you get a targeting indicator to ensure your men aim at the necessary turrets of a cluster, a distracter field which pull the turrets away from your chaps until it’s destroyed, and a very localised field that turns turrets off until they’re fired at, and all these field generators drop from dead turrets, so have to be collected. This, along with the equivalent of Jamiroquai’s garage with a vehicle for every occasion, are the tools you use to work your way through the storyline version of single player.

The graphic design is simple and effective, the route map is useful and quite good for strategising the best way through the field. Many routes are just dead ends, literally, and careful switching of junctions and convoy sequence is necessary. This game cannot be saved at will, but there are checkpoints that can be revisited to save the game which is a nice feature. All the vehicles have two modes, one generally for short range high damage fire and one for more specific use. Ordering these vehicles in sequence is one of the two main tactics you will need to master to reach the nirvana of the next world screen.

And here’s where my problems lie with this game; the second tactic, the actions of Lieutenant Lynx. On the whole Anomaly 2 is quite fun, and very furious, but with your commander having to actually be in place to lay a field token, distract turrets to pointing the wrong way, pick up the necessary dropped tokens and also scouting to identify the best route through what possible clashes are coming up, I found myself sprinting madly from one section of the map to the other to perform the above tasks. And then I found myself sprinting back to watch my units die in unexpected hot spots or because the ambush turrets were attacking the rear of the convoy.

After the tenth attempt to get past the same point, you can forgive yourself for wishing to get to the end of this map even more than the story characters do. I think a huge improvement would be the ability to pause the game in recon mode, so you can peruse the immediate path ahead to work out moves, but this is only really possible in the overhead map, which lacks a certain amount of detail to plan with.

In summary, this game is the illegitimate child of a tower defence game and an FPS. You need quick reactions and fast planning to beat this one, and the patience of a saint to reload your save over and over and over again while you try to find the tactic to beat some hellish corner.

Anomaly 2 is out now for Windows, Mac and Linux.

What is it:

Penny Arcade: Gamers vs Evil is a card game from Cryptozoic Entertainment. We covered their game Epic Spell Wars a few weeks back and Lock and Key is a favourite of our group. These guys are good at their card games. The box is organised into different sections allowing you to split card types apart for quick setup and there are apparently 411 cards in the game so this is amazing. It is a licensed product so fans of the PA strip will get some of the more inside jokes but, as proven when we playtested with Fi, you don’t have to know the strip to enjoy the game.

The Basics

Penny Arcade: Gamers vs Evil isn’t the kind of deckbuilding game most people immediately think of. Unlike games like Netrunner or Magic the Gathering this kind of deckbuilder adds cards to your deck as you go along and the winner is decided by who’s deck is worth the most points at the end of the game. There won’t be a playthough for Gamers vs Evil because let’s face it who wants to read through 12 pages of each individual card choice but instead we’ll be going for a more visual approach to the basics.

The core of the Gamers vs Evil play area is split into two colours. Green cards which cost tokens to buy and Red cards which cost power. The piles of cards that the game starts with are randomly drawn or dictated by the the example layout in the rulebook. Either way it’ll look something like this:

On the far right of each row we have the Power Up (green) and Boss (red) piles. These are the most costly cards to purchase. On the far left you’ll have he cheapest cards with the scaling between. Underneath the rows there will be a stack of Pax Pox cards and a spot to place any deleted cards.

Each player starts with a randomly drawn character card. Each character has a special ability and starts with a set number of Cardboard Tubes (+1 power) and Quarter (+1 Token) cards. These are shuffled together to make their starting deck. Each player then draws six cards from their deck and the first player starts their turn.

The idea is to over turns spend your power and tokens to buy new cards to add to your deck. New cards range from simple cards like Merch which costs 3 tokens to buy and is worth 2 tokens when played to cards like the Laser Squid which costs 6 power to buy and is worth 3 power when you play him. Some cards also PVP Attack players unless they can discard a PVP defence card. Any cards remaining in your hand at the end of the turn are also discarded and new cards are drawn before play moves to the next player.

Red cards have victory points on them in their bottom left corner and green Power Up cards are the same. The Game ends when either the last Power Up or Boss card has been purchased or when 6 stacks of cards are fully depleted. Any Pax Pox cards in your deck are worth -1 victory point.

Boss Cards like Camping are worth points at the end of the game and give you a continual effect each turn

Simple right? Then why do we think it’s so good.

What We Think

Maybe it’s the sense of pace as you gain cards which double your tokens or add +3 power instead of the Cardboard Tubes +1. Maybe it’s because there multiple lines of play allowing you to be inventive, if you want to build an aggressive deck that wins by flooding your opponents with Pox cards as a result of attacks you can. If you want to build a deck that has the options to delete the lower value cards in your hand from play allowing you to more consistently draw the high value ones you can. Maybe it’s good because the mechanics fit the jokes like the Scrotum card receiving a +4 power bonus if another Scrotum was played in the turn.

Rather than being held back by its licensing, if anything, Gamers vs Evil is improved by the addition of the Penny Arcade team’s style. Fans will recognise characters like Catsby and jokes like Werewolf with a Top Hat sit alongside the Cardboard Tube Samurai. Even people unfamiliar with the source material can enjoy the humour and style.

Pax Pox fills up your hand, does nothing and loses you points at the end of the game. Get rid of it or find a way to pass it to another player.

One of my, and indeed Fi and Josh’s, favourite things about Penny Arcade The Game: Gamers vs Evil is how well it scales. It’s just as fun and easy to set up with two players as it is for four. Of course some things change; the game is faster with four players due to card piles depleting faster but this just means you need to think on your feet a little more rather than carefully pre-planning your turns as with a two-player game. On top of all of this, it’s quick. Games can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour but the pace of play stops it from dragging.

If you’re looking for a new icebreaker game, something to start the night with or even something to break out for a quick game on an afternoon then Gamers vs Evil fits the bill perfectly. In how many other games can you ask about touching wieners without getting strange looks? Pick it up from Travelling Man for £34.99. Considering the numerous, setups, characters and variations you can play just from the base set, this is more than worth it

Next Week:

We’re checking out the latest game from Mice & Mystics creators Plaid Hat Games. City of Remnants is a gritty urban control game that may be one of our favourite area-control games ever. Come back and check it out.

The whole experience is frequently horrifying. With decapitations and the liberal spraying of blood straight out of a Quentin Tarentino movie, this is unashamedly an 18 rated game. Sure, it features the same uber-polished environments, simple control system, quick-time events and spectacular sequences we’ve come to expect from Naughty Dog, but this game conveys a feeling of complete abandonment and desolateness I’ve not experienced in any their previous titles.

Joel, the older and more battle scarred of the two, is suspicious of absolutely everything and everyone. Controlling him, I had to navigate my way through abandoned cities to locate a resistance group called the Fireflies. Booby traps, the Infected (who sound like someone slowly strangling a bird) and other survivors stood in my way. There were few instances in the demo where I didn’t have time to think, I just attacked. I figured that sorting out who is friend or foe could wait until after I got in the first blow. That said, figuring things out later was never actually necessary – the world is filled with foes.

The Last of Us also introduces a crafting mechanic which requires you to collect items littered though out the game. When you combine items (e.g. alcohol + rag = med kit) you can make new items or modify weapons, making them even more deadly. However, if you want to upgrade things like your overall health or weapon handling then you need to track down hidden skill caches, which resemble jars of pills.

The emphasis on both survival and item collection – that’s not just another gun or ammo – sets this apart from any of Nathan Drake’s adventures. The pace of the game is noticeably slower when exploring new areas. There was the odd occasion where I was scrambling for my life from the Infected hordes. Then I was in full-on panic mode, looking for anywhere to hide.

Through beautifully-realised townscapes and forests The Last of Us slowly builds up the a picture of a post-apocalyptic world. This is embellished with stories from Joel and particularly Ellie, who is voiced beautifully by Ashley Johnson, with her impromptu singing and unbridled excitement when she spies the awesome-sounding “The Turning” 2-player brutal action arcade machine. Thankfully, Ellie is more from the Half-Life Alex Vance mould than just a walking lunch/Infected magnet. She kicks ass and swears like all 14-yr olds do.

Overall, it felt like this 30-minute preview build of The Last of Us barely touched the surface of what the game has to offer. At times it was quiet, with very little happening on screen, leaving you to explore, but when the action hit, it hit bloody hard. Joel and Ellie were barely scraping through. On this evidence, The Last of Us is going to be one hell of a fight for survival. I can’t wait till the game is released worldwide on 14th June 2013 for PlayStation 3.

Screenshots

1. Track: Viewership statistics will appear in the claimant’s YouTube Analytics account. The uploaded video will not be affected.
2. Block: The video will either not be viewable on YouTube, or its audio will be muted. They may even choose to allow it in some regions but block in others.
3. Monetise: Ads will appear on your video and all revenue will go to the claimant instead

I can understand why it’s reasonable for copyright holders to claim the revenue for themselves. There are plenty of videos up that use other people’s work with no commentary or credit. Our own WipeOut gameplay videos were taken by other channels and posted with the credits stripped off and if said channel had had thousands of views, you bet your ass I’d be making that monetisation claim. That was my trolling.

According to reports, Nintendo has been recently put out claims that cover Let’s Play videos. YouTuber Zack Scott has over 193,000 subscribers and 81 million views on his game channel. Nintendo have recently started claiming all the revenue on his videos. In a post on Facebook, he said:

I think filing claims against LPers is backwards. Video games aren’t like movies or TV. Each play-through is a unique audiovisual experience. When I see a film that someone else is also watching, I don’t need to see it again. When I see a game that someone else is playing, I want to play that game for myself! Sure, there may be some people who watch games rather than play them, but are those people even gamers?

My viewers watch my gameplay videos for three main reasons:
1. To hear my commentary/review.
2. To learn about the game and how to play certain parts.
3. To see how I handle and react to certain parts of the game.

– Zack Scott, Facebook.

While I can understand that Nintendo created the games and they do own the copyright, Scott has a point. As a streamer myself, I’d consider my broadcasts to be sufficiently transformative that they will not replace the original work – people who want to play the game won’t settle for watching video instead. My playthrough of, say, Metro: Last Light is a completely different experience to playing the game for yourself. It’s non-interactive and much of the value is derived from my actions and commentary within the game.

Scott and other YouTubers have built up a loyal fanbase and yes, they’re using creations from Nintendo and other game makers to do so. They’re also providing wholly original value that Nintendo somehow feels they own just because it’s done in a commercial setting. Rather than working with YouTubers to find a fair agreement, Nintendo are claiming the gamers’ entire source of revenue, as well as doing themselves out of free advertising. What better way to get exposure from your game than by having a popular and influential person be seen playing it? Instead, Scott could be playing another game that entertains his audience and pays for his time and energy.

Over on Develop, indie dev Mike Bithell explains the difference that YouTube makes with a story about Thomas Was Alone.

“…on January 1st, Total Biscuit did a WTF video about the game (TB isn’t a LPer, but he’s a YouTube game guy so he’s relevant). Thomas sold eight times more units than on launch day. In a matter of hours. I was outselling Assassin’s Creed 3 on Steam. And that’s not rare, every indie who’s received coverage from TB, or a Let’s Play from Pewdie or NerdCubed, has a similar story.”

– Mike Bithell, Let’s Play Nintendo!

You only have to look at other companies like Valve Corporation or FTL or everyone listed here to realise that many game creators understand the benefits of supporting video playthroughs.

Nintendo could very easily resolve this by reaching out to YouTubers with revenue share agreements, or providing a broadcasters’ programme where people can sign up. I hope they see the light soon.

Here’s the track list, painstakingly sorted into locations by yours truly. I hope you appreciate the effort.

Pre-order bonuses

• GP Circuit Reversed, Brands Hatch [Day]
• GP Circuit, Brands Hatch [Day]
• Championship Circuit, Yas Marina [Day (Pre-order) & Night]
• International Circuit, Yas Marina [Day (Pre-order) & Night]
• Paddock Circuit, Yas Marina [Day (Pre-order) & Night]
• GP Circuit, Yas Marina [Day (Pre-order) & Night]
• South Circuit, Yas Marina [Day (Pre-order) & Night]
• North Circuit, Indianapolis [Day]
• Oval Circuit, Indianapolis [Day]

Asia

• Kowloon Climb, Hong Kong [Day & Night]
• Wan Chai Gap, Hong Kong [Day & Night]
• Peak Road Descent, Hong Kong [Day & Night]
• Magazine Gap, Hong Kong [Day & Night]
• Ap Lei Chau, Hong Kong [Sunset]
• Pok Fu Lam, Hong Kong [Sunset]
• Tenshi Way, Okutama [Day & Night]
• Tatsu Valley, Okutama [Day & Night]
• Shinto Shrine, Okutama [Day & Night]
• Mizu Mountain, Okutama [Day & Night]
• Torii Rush, Okutama [Sunset]
• Sakura Pass, Okutama [Sunset]

Europe

• National Circuit, Algarve [Day]
• GP Circuit, Algarve [Day]
• Sport Circuit, Algarve [Day]
• Club Circuit, Algarve [Day]
• Columbus Pass, Barcelona [Day & Night]
• Memorial Gate, Barcelona [Day & Night]
• Marine Gate, Barcelona [Day & Night]
• High Street, Barcelona [Day & Night]
• LiveRoutes, Barcelona [Day]
• Fountain Loop, Barcelona [Sunset]
• Columbus Bay, Barcelona [Sunset]
• Indy Circuit Reversed, Brands Hatch [Day]
• Indy Circuit, Brands Hatch [Day]
• Saint-Laurent, Cote d’Azur [Day & Night]
• Leopolda, Cote d’Azur [Day & Night]
• Route d’Azur, Cote d’Azur [Day & Night]
• La Turbie, Cote d’Azur [Day & Night]
• Cabrillo Highway, Cote d’Azur [Sunset]
• Route De Corniche, Cote d’Azur [Sunset]
• Arc De Triomphe, Paris [Day & Night]
• Pont De L’alma, Paris [Day & Night]
• Circuit De La Seine, Paris [Day & Night]
• Avenue De New-York, Paris [Day & Night]
• LiveRoutes, Paris [Day]
• Le Trocadero, Paris [Sunset]
• Champs Elysees, Paris [Sunset]
• GP Circuit Reversed, Red Bull Ring [Day]
• South Circuit Reversed, Red Bull Ring [Day]
• North Circuit, Red Bull Ring [Day]
• South Circuit, Red Bull Ring [Day]
• GP Circuit, Red Bull Ring [Day]
• North Circuit Reversed, Red Bull Ring [Day]

Middle East

• Al Sufouh Strip, Dubai [Day & Night]
• Nakheel Vista, Dubai [Day & Night]
• Gulf Approach, Dubai [Day & Night]
• Jumeirah Beach, Dubai [Day & Night]
• LiveRoutes, Dubai [Day]
• Hattan Way, Dubai [Sunset]
• Orra Quay Loop, Dubai [Sunset]

America

• Redwood Approach, California [Day & Night]
• Big Sur, California [Day & Night]
• Pebble Beach Drive, California [Day & Night]
• Bixby Pass, California [Day & Night]
• Pacific Way, California [Sunset]
• The Loop, Chicago [Day & Night]
• Wabash Run, Chicago [Day & Night]
• Underpass Ring, Chicago [Day & Night]
• Lake Shore Point, Chicago [Day & Night]
• LiveRoutes, Chicago [Day]
• Riverside, Chicago [Sunset]
• Marina City, Chicago [Sunset]
• Infield Circuit, Indianapolis [Day]
• Sport Circuit , Indianapolis [Day]
• GP Circuit, Indianapolis [Day]
• Collins Park Ring, Miami [Day & Night]
• Downtown Speedway, Miami [Day & Night]
• Causeway Approach, Miami [Day & Night]
• South Point Bay, Miami [Day / Night]
• LiveRoutes, Miami [Day]
• Ocean Drive, Miami [Sunset]
• Art Deco Loop, Miami [Sunset]

There will be an incredible 1200 cars available at launch. GT6 also adds 7 new locations and 19 new layouts, bringing those respective totals to 33 and 71. The game will also boast a new physics engine with new aerodynamics, tyre, suspension and kinematics models, developed in technical partnership with car industry tyre manufacturer Yokohama Rubber and suspension company KW Automotive.

And crucially, there will be an all-new interface with faster loading times. I don’t have the details yet but there will be some form of compatibility across PlayStation devices, smart phones, tablets and PCs.

“It is amazing to think that it is 15 years since we first released Gran Turismo,” explained Kazunori Yamauchi, during the announcement at Silverstone Circuit. “Things have changed a lot since then and now Gran Turismo 6 is a further evolution of my dream. We’re pleased to deliver GT6 to PlayStation 3 as we have a very loyal community on that platform. However, we have refactored the game to make it very flexible and expandable, with a view to making many future developments. I am very pleased with everything about the new game and the new additions, but the launch will be only the beginning for GT6. The game will continue to develop throughout its life. I already have many ideas for things I want to achieve in the next 15 years of Gran Turismo!”

Pretty Pictures:

If you are a player who is only interested in the multiplayer then 1) you’re missing out, my friend. The single player is superb, and 2) you’ll be more interested in my multiplayer preview that you can read right here. It’s more or less the same level of written praise as this preview, only with different rationale.

Before breaking down the missions one-by-one, it’s worth pointing out that the Company of Heroes 2 single player campaign is genuinely excellent – at least the four missions I played are. Real-time strategy games sometimes fall short on single player in favour of more focus on the multiplayer, which while occasionally understandable can be somewhat disappointing if you dislike people and playing games with them.

CoH2′s campaign is varied, well written, and a great stepping-stone to get you into multiplayer with a fighting chance. Missions have a great range of tactics, objectives, and unit compositions required to complete. Even the easiest difficulty can be a struggle if you do not move, position, and forge your army correctly.

That is not to say the game is too hard, but rather that it is a good RTS game. Inexperienced players may find the learning-curve steeper than other big-budget RTS games at first, but within an hour any player will have the basics down and be planning ahead for their next engagement.

It’s a learning game with a terrific pay-off, once you hone your personal favourite skills and strategies to march your way to victory. Don’t however expect to mass infantry troops and charge-in using the attack command – your troops will be gunned-down faster than General Melchett’s in Black Adder.

Mission #1: Stalingrad. I confess to not having my hair blown back by the originality of the location, but you can blame historical accuracy for that. That is what comes of a World War II centred game. The mission is based around Operation Barbarossa; the German invasion of the Soviet Union. The actual event in history was the largest invasion in history, consisting of over 4,000,000 troops from the Axis powers doing the invading. Unsurprisingly the Soviets were outnumbered, and thus had to attempt to use superior tactics to fight the battle.

This mission was very heavily focussed on the idea of positioning units correctly, as you had a seemingly endless array of re-enforcements, and flanking techniques.

I found flanking to be the most effective strategy; sticking more to the outskirts of the map to avoid the majority of the enemies artillery and heavy armour. This was made much more challenging by CoH2′s line-of-sight feature – where you can only see parts of the maps your units have the ability to see – but it was satisfying and helped me increase my micromanaging skills with smaller infantry-based squads.

Mission #2: Moscow. This is where the Battle of Moscow first began, historically, and where I was tasked with evacuating civilians and protecting supplies. Far more fast-paced than the previous mission, with troops constantly pushing closer to my enclosed position and limited troops.

This was the mission that truly showed me the value of every individual trooper. If squads lose members, you can combine stragglers to merge squads together – this is useful because whether a squad has 1 trooper, or 6, it still counts as a squad in the game’s eyes and thus limits your number of available squads on the battlefield. I love entrenched warfare, and this mission gave me exactly that. Here is your army, you should lose, but you may not, fight. It’s the 300 mentality of gameplay, which I love in RTS games.

Mission #3: Mtsensk. A small town in the USSR that you are tasked with defending, and holding, with minimal troops. Unlike previous missions, this one had specific capture points which must be held or retaken if overrun by the enemy. The capture points give you supplies granting you the ability to have heavy armour for the first time – such as tanks and Jeeps.

The gameplay was very back-and-fourth, as there were three capture points and I struggled to manage my limited forces to defend all of them simultaneously, causing many points to be recaptured by both sides intermittently. The tanks were particularly fantastic to finally get to grips with, positioning them alongside small infantry and debris for ultimate effect.

This mission also had the first destructible scenery I experienced, as it was a snow-based map, there was a frozen river between the enemy line and the capture points where I was holding ground. Destroying the ice, through a combination of mines, artillery fire, and blind luck, helped me create bottlenecks. As well as sink some very important enemy tanks with the correct timing. It added an extra layer of potential strategy on top of the other thoughts going through my brain, which for any RTS is a plus in my books.

The HUD is beautiful, and very intuitive after a few games.

Mission #5: Stalingrad. I don’t know what happened in mission 4, as it was not available to play, but boy did this mission pick things up even more. Back in Stalingrad, but your commanding skills are now being put to the test. You’d better have been paying attention in the first missions, because now it’s down to all-out warfare.

There are 5 separate capture points, with 3 bridges giving access to them, and well as multiple, simultaneous, two-pronged attacks across them all throughout the mission. Infantry and heavy armour fighting on both sides. The mission took me a solid 40 minutes to complete and it felt like no time had passed. The pace is incredibly fast, almost entirely non-stop action, and to survive you will always have to be managing at least one capture point’s defences and mobilising re-enforcements. I was blown away at how much action was happening across the map at once, and possibly even more stunned at how I was able to manage it all.

Company of Heroes 2′s single player campaign has done more to make me feel like a commander than any other RTS game. The scenery, the troop management, the mission design, all brings the intensity and realism you could hope for in a World War II strategy game. It is not a game for the inexperienced.

However, any player unafraid of a heavily micro-management-based game, with a lot freedom of gameplay style will love it. Veteran RTS players owe it to themselves to give the campaign, and Company of Heroes 2 as a whole, the thorough once over it deserves. I’m extremely pleased that this franchise shall live on, and that it made me enthralled with a WWII game again.

Company of Heroes 2 is set to release exclusive for PC on June 25th.

It’s not so much the injury, it’s that he’d also managed to knock over a glowing ball I was holding.

Johann Sebastian Joust, maybe you all know by now, is a great game that uses a PA system and a couple Playstation Move controllers to create The Only Reason To Own Playstation Move Controllers. It’s a full contact sport that suggests, if not entirely expects, you to be fully up in someone’s grill like if you hit a deer at high-speed. Knock the controller the fuck out of other people’s hands, try not to let them anywhere near you, maybe get punched in your nose, have a great time.

It’s not the only way to joust, though. It’s the most high-contact and dangerous one, but it’s not the only show in town. We’re going through an Indie Game Jousting Epidemic and if you’re interested in coming up with a silly name for it as if it’s a type of flu I’d like to see it in the comments because I’ve been trying and haven’t personally succeeded. J5S7? That doesn’t sound like a thing at all. Jeez.

There Shall Be Lancing

Sophie Houlden’s game of stripped down spatial control might be the best thing I’ve ever played. I’ll admit that’s hyperbole as soon as someone can disprove me.

Two characters stand on either side of each other, floating in midair. They can either keep standing still or attempt to run into the other’s position through fixed movement along 8 dotted lines. If two players occupy the same space then the aggressor wins a point. Three points and you win the game.

Each player is constantly building up a meter. The more bars they fill the faster they move. If they get up to three bars they can fire a projectile. You can also defend against any incoming lance attacks.

What makes the game truly devious is that you use a block of meter to move, but you don’t use anything to hold up your shield. It’s a game about being defensive enough to control the other player’s meter use, but you can’t play too defensively because eventually they’ll move too fast for you to defend against or throw out a projective you’ll have to move to avoid.

What’s even more devious is that you could win in a single move. The game allows for all this complication, but right off the bat you could fly toward someone and they could mess up. Point to you. Congratulations.

It’s a game with so few mechanics, but yet it’s also so close to perfect… it’s as if fighting games that don’t have much complexity are actually the best? Someone should have noticed this by now.

You can’t technically download this right off the website, but she’s offered her contact details. Make your pitch worth reading. Mine’s this column. I’m going to link it to her and ask if I’m allowed to play more.

STARWHAL

Stupid. Just Stupid.

You’re a Narwhal In… Space? Electronic Space?

The instructions will suggest that you’re supposed to use your tusk (Not a horn! Common narwhal-based misconception!) to hit the other player’s Narwhal in the heart, but the controls suggest your job is to flail around and barely get anything done. If you actually succeed at hitting the other player it’s a miracle.

You’ll have a great time provided you understand the difference between purposefully limited controls and poorly implemented ones. The art design does a great job of conveying the game’s intentions not to be taken seriously, so don’t, yeah?

LAZA KNITEZ!!

I like to refrain from describing games by “it’s like X but” if possible. You can sometimes fall into a bit of a hole when you talk about games that way and never get out. You start seeing influences everywhere and forget to take in the sum of its parts.

Still, LAZA KNITEZ!! is a 4-player game of Asteroids but without the titular Asteroids. I guess the other players are the Asteroids. They don’t break apart into smaller players when they’re hit, they just die, so it goes.

Each of you is playing as a knight and you have to charge into the other players. You can shoot out a projectile, but they’re limited. You charge forward with some ability to sway slightly left or right, but you can also drift to quickly change direction but move slower.

It is a very fun video game.

Oh, Also:

Special thanks to the crew of the MS Stubnitz and the efforts of anyone involved in this weekend’s Bit Of Alright and Wild Rumpus. They were lovely! I liked being at both!

If you weren’t able to make it to either, I’m assured that many of the talks from the former are going to be made available via the “Internet”. If you missed any of the latter, well, I can’t help you.

Y’missed playing Tenya Wanya Teens. On a boat. You deserve everything you get.

Oh, Tenya Wanya Teens, I Guess:

I’d heard descriptions of what Tenya Wanya Teens with the anecdote that you’ll misunderstand what you’re supposed to do constantly to the extent where you’re trying to tell a girl you love her and instead might pee yourself, but no one talks about how that’s possible.

The game’s controlled with a 16 button pad and a directional stick. The buttons light up different colours when a new action is introduced. You’ll think you’ve got the hang of this, except the button layout is always changing and the controls aren’t defined effectively. There’ll be an on-screen reminder that you need to press a certain colour in order to perform an action, but there’ll be different shades of the same colour in front of you. It’s made all the more stressful by the player to the side of you trying to complete all the actions first to score the most points.

It truly describes what it’s like to be a teen. Not quite understanding anything and when you think you do, it’s thrown right out from under you.